I've said before that I communicate via the written word best, when I am crying. Before I can properly tell the story, you should know where I came from. This isn't a sob story, this is a perspective that you may be inclined to follow. I'm making this public (meaning you don't have to be an Active Rain Member to read this) because my guess is there are folks who could benefit from what I'm about to write.
I come from a middle class family. When I left and went about my own way, there were challenges at each horizon. I've lived in attics, fielded collection calls, owed money that I couldn't possibly pay back... at least right away. I lived on Ramen Noodles, slept in puddles of God's tears, and drove my parents crazy because I didn't want to do things the 'easy' way. I did things and do things my way, we'll see how that works out after it is all said and done.
Tonight was something I was looking forward too. The Pittsburgh Steelers are on television and it's wrestling night on the USA Network. I spent the weekend with a girl that I don't deserve. Gosh... I'm lucky. But those things took a backseat when I got a phone call from a fellow Active Rainer. You see, this person has much more experience in the mortgage industry than me. This person thinks for one moment that I can maybe help matters. I gotta be honest, I've felt like quiting this industry. It's been more than rough and supplied me with more gray hairs than Sam Elliot can shake a clever catch-phrase at. I was told about two hours ago that one of my peers, in this industry, wanted to end their life because they can no longer afford to live it.
I don't know much about this world or life but I do know one thing: it's between the ears. I can't sit hear and tell you there is a God that will make things okay or your every fear will end in due time. In fact, I'd probably be the one to tell you that this life, this world... is tough and should be. We'll be okay, humanity tends to have that going for it.
Before you dive on the sword, listen to my words. It isn't worth it, there are people that care. And even if nobody cared at all, we are more than money and better than poverty. I will hold your hand my man, through thick and thin. It will be okay, don't let this shit fool you... be tough, especially in the moments where you feel the weakest.
We live in very interesting times economically, and those will end. It's between the ears and beneath the neck. Relax and listen to this song...
if nothing else, I will welcome your family into my home.
Jason, you have figured out that what you think makes all the difference. Action follows thought. Be a difference maker in encouraging people to be positive. I think you already are a difference maker.
You're talented, tough, and determined. YOU WILL SURVIVE! We are definitely in unprecidented times and the market has really provided prospective homeowners a beating. That's doubly true for high-end buyers.
That said, I appreciate your honesty. I don't know about WWW but Football sounds like a much better option. Have fun, forget about the market, and we will live to die another day!
Take care,
Hey Brother, I hope your other brother (or sister) listened to what you had to say. You have a way of talking from the heart and I know that is louder than the words you said. As an old man who lost his reason for going on last year, I tell your brother that things may not get better but they do go on and right now, that is what needs to be done. SURVIVE. I've been broke and I've been well off, and well off is better, but nothing lasts forever. Here is my entry to your songs, as per normal with me, it is country. Take care of yourself and your brother Jason. Challenges keep us going guy!
Jason- Suicide is a thought in many minds at all levels, it discriminates not in age, gender, race or religion. I have lived with this in my own family as one of my daughters is bi polar. When she was a teen I had to hospitalize her several things to prevent her from following through with her attempts at suicide. The sad thing was she was a genius, IQ over the top, the happy thing is, she is now over that part and is graduating from University this year.
Jason - you deserve a lot more than you give yourself credit for - I have learned a lot through the school of hard knocks - be true to yourself and remember you do make a difference
Life is not about money. Whether your rich or your poor, neither is taking it with them! Think of the one's you are leaving behind who have to take over your burdens. Perhaps there is a reason for this, perhaps there is something better around the corner. As one door closes, another opens! Always find the good in things. Losing your home...Great time to down size! If you lead a good life, friends or family will be there to help you. If you think of all the happiest times in your life, chances are money didn't have a thing to do with it. I always tell people, ask yourself what is the worst thing that can happen. Then deal with it! Nothing is so bad to takes one's life.
Jason...I certainly hope your friend heeds your advice. The market is tough...it's probably going to get worse before it gets better but, that's no reason to throw in the towel. As you say, there are people that care... all they need to do is reach out. You're a good man Charlie Brown...
Bless you. It's the kind of call that will kill the "buzz" of the moment - but you did a great job of saying what we all feel. There's more to life than this historic moment. Dips in the (fill in the blank) are just that... dips. Things will change - the idea is to stay the course, reach out to all who you can touch. Because you're right, we all make mistakes... but then we learn from them, and move on to the next moment that sends our heart straight to the moon!
The world is changing everyday, right before our eyes. You are a gracious person and I hope for your friends, friend sake they will know they are loved for who they are, not what they do or produce. Many folks are going through difficult times now. If we can just hang on, even by a thread and reach out to people that love us, we can get through. This too shall pass.
Hope your swift kick was able to crack those nutty thoughts. Financial stress is certainly difficult but as you noted wealth is a matter of perspective. If your friend is hanging with the wrong gang that contributes to the feelings of hopelessness maybe sitting around the campfire with some homeless people and a six pack will allow him to see life in a new light.
First of all Bro...it took me five minutes to get to your post due to the fact that AR is causing errors every time I try to go to someones blog...that's the worst of it...as far as you go my friend...no matter what the big people say...it's still up to you to make it or break it...you can control your destiny..of course it can be difficult...I had one of the worst two weeks recently but this week started out so much on the better side. Just like Tomlin said last night...we aren't perfect but we are together.
Jason, you are an angel. Angels come in the form of friends.
Suicide can strike any class or culture, sex or age at any time. You were the outstretched hand that person needed to lift them up.
That persons life will change because of you and yours has already changed. You will be seeing things more differently as well.
God Bless you Jason.
Dude....I love the song;....The world I know from Collective Soul. Needless to say, I have a great book rec for you (great...that's just what I need some book from that wacky guy Bettag). I feel it's life changing. Easy read....big words....but enough to change the core of your being for the better. Not the bible, not some wacked out religious book or coaching thing. You interested? E-mail me... If you don't read for growth forget it, but if you do....I'm in!
Beautifully said baby. You always know exactly how to get to the core of the human side of this expedition we call life. The world may need an editor, but it won't make you any smarter. Your perspective on the human heart is second to none - which is why I'm placing mine in your hands for the duration. Whatever happens... good or bad... I know it will have a soft landing. It is ME that doesn't deserve YOU. I am the lucky one.
I love that song.
(Can't get back to sleep. Can't stop thinking...)
Jason,
You're a very caring and warm soul and I'm glad that your peer sensed that and reached out to you.
One of my peers, a family man with teenage children, followed through on this last year, due to business and financial struggles and to this day I can't help but think how people in this situation begin to think they are worth nothing more than the bills they owe.
The truth is we are each unique and beautiful beings who come into this world naked and by the grace of God and our fellow man, make our way. Despair and loss of hope can be alleviated when there is a caring ear who offers the real perspective to those who are in the midst of a dark forest and need help seeing....thank you for being that person.
Jo
ps, perfect song, one of my favourites
Jason - This is just so terribly sad. I hope your friend reads this post and finds comfort in your words. Ending it all is never the answer, no matter how dark it might seem. The only thing it does is leave the pain and devastation for your loved ones. They never recover.
Thank you for posting this and reminding us all what is truly important.
Wow Jason - great post and I'm so glad your friend called YOU. We DO have to remember we are more than what we have or don't have. I love that: it's between the ears. I feel that way too. Thanks for sharing this, it's very important right now.
Jason -- This is a timely post for many people. Sometimes, it is hard to see through the darkness and recognize that the sun will come up again. At those moments when all seems lost, it is important to focus on surviving and cling to any light that you can. As long as you are alive, you have the chance to rebuild. I'm glad that your friend found your light.
Jason, I hope your friend listens to you. Money is not the answer. Even if every thing is lost, the only place to go is up. We can all help people like this, they need to know that more people are like you and really care for their well being.
I
've never had a day so bad that I wanted it to be my last... but I have had some that were pretty crappy. But then, I will have something cap me right out of the blue.
If I have learned anything in my 43 years, it is that there can always be another day. Please note, I didn't say there is... but that there can be.
We have to choose it.
You have a lucky friend. Everyone needs to have a friend like you.
these are tough times for everyone. However, despite what the news says, this is not the end of the world. We will all get through this. - thoughts are with you and your friend
Jason, I will second Jesse's comment. You are a good man. Your friend came to the right place.
you're a good man Sardi, gotta say it again lest it be forgotten by you.
and times are tough for all of us. even if you are doing more business this year than last, the demands of the market make it tough; and uncertainty is hangs over all of us.
Continue to be there for your friend as I'm sure you will. I haven't known you long at all but if I can be of help, you know my number.
Times will get better, and every day we outlast others we are gaining market share. It's gotten to be a bitter pill though, considering we are losing a lot of the good ones now...
Gerry Suarez, Jr.
Your HUD Loan Pro!